I wasn't able to play dress-up today.

My parents pulled me out of the house and into the mountains. So I still got to dress up. Just with one outfit.

 

VS Pink shirt. Liquid leggings from Mom. Mom's Juicy Couture tracksuit top. Black socks. Sporto snow shoes. pink beret from eBay. LV monogram canvas messenger bag.

I'l play dress up tomorrow.

You wanna do it with me?

Help me.

Well, I'm not the one who needs help, but no one thinks like me, and they're all convinced everything's all right. I don't think so.

I have a friend. Yeah, we're friends, so every time he'll make threats coated in sugary words and tones, I shrug it off. I mean, he isn't serious about that, right? He just wants to...pinch my face and rip it off in the process, or...kill me. But he's not serious, right?

We thought so too. No, my face is still in one piece, but since it's almost Christmas, we have this gift giving things in our class. It's a tradition, you know, that thingy when you pick out a name off a box and give a gift with certain characteristics to that person. Another person would give you a gift, too. Often the people don't know who the giver is, and the only reason why most people in our class know who their giver will be because the giver tells them.

My friend's giver didn't bother telling him. She wanted to break the chain of him knowing his giver every single year, and when he started asking, she kept her mouth shut because she didn't want to give him everything he wanted.

The giver is my friend, too.

So gift-giving came. We were to give a gift that was square and soft. My giver gave me a hankie, and I gave her (I'm her giver too) a shirt, because you can fold it into a square. :) My friend (the guy friend...let's call him Peter) got a small pillow with a window thing for a quote. Then he started going around asking everyone if they knew who gave it to him. Nobody answered.

Peter then got a list and filled it up with who's who. He told us that he really didn't like surprises ever since and even cried when his parents held for him a surprise birthday party. Well, I thought, now's a good time for a change. Can't you wait till next week? You'll know it by then.

He can't. I don't know, maybe he's used to having people give him what he wants and giving it right after he asks for it.

That was last Monday. On Tuesday, he was still filling up the list and all. Wednesday. Still on the list. Insulting the giver about how he gave him a useless object. Threatening to set fire to it in front of the entire class to see who reacts.

We seriously thought he was joking.

The next day he had a purple lighter. Somewhere mid-morning he bore a hole at the back of the pillow.

We had a big test on Computer Science 4 that day, and at lunchtime almost everyone was in the library pouring over their notes and handouts. Someone then came over and they started to huddle. I tried to keep my eyes on my handouts but couldn't help hearing since they were beside my table, and I asked my other friend (the giver) what happened. She told me about the hole at the back.

I was surprised. I didn't think he would go that far. I didn't know he could go that far.

Soon everyone was talking about him and how unstable he is, and asking about the pillow. I was so pissed at his reaction, at what he did - he burned the entire pillow, cotton stuffing, bean stuffing, EVERYTHING. It's all ashes in the trash can.

And the most insulting part was that he was proud of himself. He told the giver that he burned the entire pillow, then he came to me and asked me if she really was the giver. I was so mad at his immaturity that I screamed at him. If I weren't short and if I could reach his face without a problem, I'd have beaten him to the ground.

We heard the story from the people who witnessed him burn the entire pillow and they all said he seriously sounded manic, depressive, and psychotic. That evening I called my mom and told her I might have a psycho for a classmate.

All the others tell me I shouldn't ostracize him or think of him as a psycho, and that I should just understand his situation. But to what extend shall I? Shall I just turn my back on him if he brings a knife the next time? If he says he'll set fire to the school or make the generator explode, should I just understand him because we're friends?

And they say I don't care because I think he's psychotic. Oh, I don't care, now? If you ask me, they're the ones who don't care, because they fail to realize that he has a problem and they would just turn their back on him even if that problem was swallowing him up! And I'm the one who doesn't care because I'm the one trying to find the correct diagnosis and thinking of bringing over a psychiatrist to aid me! I don't care? I DON'T CARE?!

You think?

She reprimanded me because I say it's not my fault they were hurt.

So what am I supposed to say then? "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll stop writing about them anymore. I'll take back my words and stop exercising my freedom of speech." Is that it? Am I just supposed to shut up here and keep all of my thoughts to myself? Stop telling everyone what I think and stop making everyone know that I actually think?

It's not me who hurt them. It's them. They were the ones who chose to see themselves in what I wrote. That's why they lashed back at me. That's why they were hurt. Would I be hurt if you called me a bitch? No. I'll be hurt only if I say I'll be hurt. Well. I'm not.

I respect you. I respect the way you think. But here is where it seems to be hard for us to find middle ground. I'll stick to what I say because I respect myself. And all of you should, too. It's not my fault they were so insecure that they can't judge themselves.

Please help me put together an outfit for this.

I found these on Macy's and I thought they were cute, so I had them bought.
But I don't know how I'm supposed to wear them.
Help?

One reason why I'm so freaking excited on going to college is...

I can dress up.

I've been dying to dress up since I got a pair of shoes other than sneakers.  Nobody ever bothers to dress up here because...well, since I commute to school and to a lot of other places, and I wear a uniform to school, I haven't had the chance to dress up that much. Plus, I've only started getting shoes other than sneakers.

I want to dress up. I feel suffocated if I can't.

Ahh! I have to. :) and I will.

I decided to do away with the booties.

Booties don't do wonders for my height, so I decided to ask for the least expensive pair of shoes I found.

It's a nice pair of mary-janes from Mia. It's plaid and lace-covered, so it's kind of a challenge, but not too much because the lace is black anyway.

So, yeah. It's easier to wear those.

I kinda want ankle boots, though. Heeled ones. So I'd look taller, haha.